Year in Review

It's that time of year again to ponder on the changes of the past year, and turn the page for a new year. It's exciting and nerve-wracking to know that the wedding is now close enough to count in weeks, and I can hardly believe it!

January of last year began with my trek from Michigan to Boston with what few possessions I could manage. I spent most of the time worrying if Avalon would be alright, and didn't notice my freezing gerbils. It was a lesson in not forgetting the details. We also spent the layover in Pittsburgh gathering our wedding party, spending time together, and had fun with my sister who traveled down to celebrate with us.

February was a bit strained. We enjoyed good company in New Jersey for Wicked Faire, but unfortunately not everyone could say so. I look forward to see them again, but it is my sincere hope that some day we will be able to let our guards down to fully enjoy, as I am deeply fond of all parties involved. I am far enough removed from the drama to not be able to pick a side, nor would I want to.

March saw Monster Mania, getting to see Malcolm MacDowell as he casually said hello, and our very own Gary Busey stories. He really is just as nuts as you'd imagine, and many of the people on the panels attested to this. I had wanted to see Jake Busey, but he either didn't show up, or I always seemed to miss him. My crowning glory of course was meeting Terrance Zdunich, the writer, director and gravedigger star of Repo! The Genetic Opera. He is as awesome as I had wished.

April witnessed me turning 30, and while I had tried to put together some kind of party without putting together a party, it fizzled. I was still very happy to have some of my friends stop by and there was still much enjoyment to be had. I think for 31 I might to a redeux and have a bigger bash now that my social life includes a lot more people.

The month of May began my time with Best Buy, and it's been a bit of a whirlwind since. I love my job, but there are days when it makes me feel my age. There are days when it's not clear what they really expect of me, and there are days when I feel like nothing could stop me. Regardless of hard work or good ideas I pass along, it's the compassion for co-workers that I hope is my lasting impression. Since working there I have tried to keep up with who's mother is in the hospital, or what birthday is coming up. I think my leadership team was especially surprised by the fruit baskets I put together for them considering they hadn't been expecting anything like them for Christmas.

The summer was a rush and somewhere in this I stopped waiting for the bottom to fall out. Matt hadn't changed his mind or reverted back to old bad habits. I hadn't thought of leaving this new life for the comfortable familiarity of home. I adjusted well to this complete change and there's not a day I regret it. I had worried perhaps when I had accepted the marriage proposal that it was a hasty maneuver to keep me around. It's clear now that isn't the case, my leap of faith was well places and I stuck the landing with four stars.

As the year progressed we became close with new friends, and by Thanksgiving I was so happy to have company over that could just enjoy conversation, good food and wine. Krystal and Josh have been some of the best salve for the burn of homesickness I've ever found, and I can't even begin to describe how elated I am that time spent with them has been so enjoyable. I look forward to more dinners and nights hanging out as time marches on.

It was our first Christmas together, just us. We combined our traditions of stockings and pajamas on Christmas Eve. There were moments where everything got fuzzy, and it felt like home but in a completely new way. I could see our future, our kids, our home that is yet to be, and knew I would be looking back on these moments with fondness. The foundation of our lives have been joined and now we're building a family.

I've learned some of my stoutest friends are there for me in new ways. I've learned that new friends are always waiting to be discovered. I've learned that life can be so bittersweet in equal parts that it's hard to tell which is which.

I have also learned that not everyone is as capable as I am of handling past pain. My brother is not inside some physical piece of equipment, or even in pictures. He's in my heart, in my blood, and in my mind. These things cannot be taken, cannot be monopolized or lied about. I will lay down my warrior side on this and let those who wish to claim some weak tie as greater than family to learn from their lives. The words spoken in a eulogy remain so apt to this day. Be careful you don't forget the man and make him into something he never was. Stay true to the memory, and not to whatever ideal suits you.

With that, be at peace. I will strive to remember that my life has been blessed as things wind up into this hectic New Year. To all my friends, family and fans, I love you! You are my life, you are me.